If you are in a marriage right now and struggling, this post
is for you. You may even be in couples counseling and/or seeing a therapist
separately. There are five questions I want to encourage you to ask yourself:
- What is your level of loyalty and commitment to
the marriage – looking for a reason to stay, improve the marriage, or a reason
to leave? - What are your shared values that rule the
marriage relationship? - Are you trying to change the other person more
than yourself? - What if the other person never changes or meets
your expectations, what is your vision of that future? - What is your highest hope in attending couples
counseling and does that target exist?
These questions may seem negative, but they are critical in
order to be honest with yourself and fair to your partner. Different answers
can hold different meaning. I want to encourage you to discuss these questions with
your counselor, especially if you don’t have an answer right now. Counseling
can take time, and, in a marriage, there are always two sides - not necessarily
a right or a wrong.
If you are not in marriage counseling, I encourage you to find an experienced counselor (LPC or LMFT). Couples counseling is about Marriage Health. If your car is making a horrible noise and not running as smoothly as before, wouldn’t you go to a professional to see what’s going on and to understand what needs adjustment? Counseling is no different. Contact an expert today. Below are some links to research licensed professionals in your state.
https://www.counseling.org/aca-community/learn-about-counseling/what-is-counseling
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/marriage-counseling
https://www.aamft.org/Directories/Find_a_Therapist.aspx?hkey=014b5b26-bc27-43b0-beeb-c590352e8235