There was something I wrote to a client recently that I wanted to share with all of you. The client called it my "pep talk" and I've created a slightly modified version of it here to broaden it because it can apply to any of us.
If you are dreading anything in life or feel stuck. The only way to get out of it is taking one small step, a thought, an idea, and a willingness to try something new, no matter how small. Setting a plan. A plan to stop dreading, worrying, and fearing, AND then sticking with it ...
You dread forcing yourself out of bed in the morning.
You dread having to face family, friends, co-workers and just about anyone on the street, the store, inside or outside your house. Anywhere.
You worry about someone seeing you for what the world has conditioned you to believe about yourself.
The past, pain, failure, disappointment. The little girl or boy who didn’t meet someone’s expectations or perception.
It sounds like you are afraid of being you, at least to others.
That comes from a history of trauma in whatever form it occurred for you.
You are not that person they made you out to be. Not any more.
I know the feelings linger and the pain is real. Let it be real but dread something new...
I hear that you want justice for what happened to you.
But, right now, you need to focus on getting through this time, this moment, and to the other side of it.
You can do it.
Yes, there is fear.
No matter what happens ever, you will still be you. You will make it. You are a different person now. You see things now. Clearly. The fog is beginning to let up. Keep pushing through.
You are someone who sees the pain and identifies with it but it doesn't have to be who you are any more. Those threats are gone. They are only shadows playing in your mind.
The confirmation bias of looking for what is familiar, no matter how bad it was, is holding you captive. Look for something new.
Every time you think of the past or speculate about others or what might happen, you are reinforcing what is holding you captive. Emotionally. Psychologically and even physically due to the stress your body is processing.
Breaking that cycle is the goal.
All you can do each day is redirect your mind to consider what you must do physically.
Talk to yourself like you would your child. By putting one foot in front of the other… Put one foot in front of the other and soon you'll be walking 'cross the floor. Put one foot in front of the other and soon you’ll be walking out the door…
Sing it if you know the tune.
Hell, dance if you want to.
Tell yourself it is worth it. Say it out loud. I'm worth it. Whether you believe it or not.
Yes, it is going to take force some days. Don't give up.
The space between "fear" and "hope" is "doing".
Do it afraid as they say.
Do it determined to peel back those layers and leave the house of shame others built for you.
Refuse to give in to what others have done to you in the past.
Stand tall now for the person you are, that you are becoming, that you dream of being.
Let that person out. Free them!
Start to visualize how you CAN do it. Little by little. Moment by moment.
Even if that is to just breathe, brush your teeth, or get out of bed.
Visualize what seems impossible - like watching a movie with a hero's end.
Be the strong you. What would she/he/they do? Because every time you do, you are one step closer to getting out of the pit and walking out the door to close it behind you permanently.
You can tackle all the other stuff later once you are out of the pit - the hurt, the past, the judgment of others, the fear of rejection, the trauma.
Dread something new: Dread not getting passed this and do it afraid.
Do it with force. Get up and be determined to beat this thing.
Focus only on what is within 48 hours. Believe in change for the better.
Be pooh and pretend you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. Take a first step each day.
One breath at a time.
One moment at a time.
One day at a time.
YOU GOT THIS!
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